We grew up with storybook tales of happily ever after and disney characters destined for one another. As kids we had our crushes, dreams of first kisses, mommies and daddies that loved each other endlessly, and for those of us that tend to get a little ahead of ourselves, plans for that fateful day when we would meet that other person, the perfect person we were made for. Little girls yearned for prince charming and little boys wanted nothing more than to SEE SOME BOOBS, AM I RIGHT!?!?! GUY CODE! I'm just kidding ladies, we do actually care about you and your feelings and what you did last saturday and why you are sick of that one girl that always, like, says things that annoys you and stuff. Basically, what I'm trying to get at is we all, at one point, had expectations of what love is supposed to be like.
I am no exception, in fact, I have often proven to be a little over the top when it comes to girls that I've been enamored with. Since I was a kid I've had the expectation that the shining model of what a girl should be like would one day fall into my lap and we would ride off into the sunset together. More times than not I am bitterly dissapointed due to my own high standards and eccentricities. You see, when I decide that a girl is up to my liking I immediately cease to act like a normal human being and make a complete fool of myself. I invest my entire being into making sure that my potential soul mate knows I'm fucking insane and refuses to speak to me ever again. However, there are times, despite my character flaws, that the person I am secretly gawking at shares a mutual attraction. In these instances I can most times overcome my awkward, but genuine, attempts at being a respectable, socially inclined person and resume being myself. A romantic relationship ensues and for the time I am happy, the world is my oyster.
Romantic relationships in my young life are like bad sex, its good for thirty seconds then its over and I'm left wondering what happened. In spite of the fact that I am a guy and guys are supposed to be emotionless, tough, womanizing brutes, for some reason I wasnt programmed that way, therefore, more times than not when a relationship of mine ends I am left devastated. The ending of a relationship hurts no matter the circumstance or the "love" that was once there, but I am here to tell you something that will undoubtedly make you hate the concept of love even more, whoopee!
So........ there was this guy, dudes name was Arthur, Arthur Schopenhauer, and arthur was a german philosopher in the early 1800's. Schopenhauer in the eyes of women would have been percieved as confident, good looking, intelligent, and financially well off, however, successful relationships always alluded him. This fact was more than likely due to his philosophy on mankind's obssession with the idea of love. Schopenhauer was convinced that love was nothing more than an extremely intricate trick played on humanity by biology in order to ensure the continuation of mankind as a species. Since I have mentioned the notion that love is nothing more than a trick to get us to do the dirty most of you probably have responded by wanting to burn me at the stake for blasphemy but allow me to explain Schopenhauer's reasoning.
Mr. Schopenhauer believes in the "will to live theory." This theory suggest that when a person experiences "love" subconciously that person has made the decision that the target of his/her affection is an appropriate candidate for babymaking based upon that person's qualities. For example, almost everyone tries to retain the fallacy that they do not base relationships upon attraction alone. This, however, is a complete lie. Attraction, although does pertain to physical attraction, is much more than that. Attraction is the accumulation of a person in another suiter's eyes based upon one may say, "the whole package." The reason someone may be attracted to one person and not another is because, subconciously, that person is summing up the other's ability to produce happy, healthy children. Essentially, love, although a very real emotion, is something created by nature in order to ensure that we propagate. That is why so often we hear about families being upended due to divorce. Once children have been created the partners often times notice that the same fire that was once present in their relationship is no longer there. The love was merely a dillusion and now the two have children to raise together.
My intention with this post was not to be morbid or cast an ill mood, rather, to help those struggling with relationships, crushes, or ending marriages. It is alright to build your life around love, nothing in life is quite as important. Where we go wrong, however, is in assuming that love results in happiness, which is far from the truth. I will leave you with some quotes from Arthur Schopenhauer himself:
"Almost all of our sorrows spring out of our relations with other people."
"To live alone is the fate of all great souls."
"If God made this world I would not like to be the god, it's misery and distress would break my heart"
"Men are by nature merely indifferent to one another; but women are by nature enemies."
"It is a clear gain to sacrifice pleasure in order to avoid pain."
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